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My Father has HIV
by James Pham
So I must preface this isn’t a story about me but rather, my father who is living with hepatitis B and our funny little interaction when I found out.
When my dad first told me he had HIV, I nearly dropped my coffee.
“Wait, what?” I blinked at him.
He sat calmly, sipping tea, looking pleased with himself. “Yes, doctor say I have HIV. But good news…he give me medicine. Now I don’t have anymore!”
Now, I’m a pharmacist, so hearing that HIV had just “gone away” made alarm bells ring. I had to pause, take a deep breath, and ask, “Are you sure it was HIV, Dad?”
After some back-and-forth, a peek at his My Health Record, and a very comical game of broken-English charades, the truth came out: he didn’t have HIV. He had hepatitis B.
“Oh,” he said, shrugging. “Same…?”
Not quite, Dad.
Despite the confusion, we got him on the right track. His doctor had already started him on antiviral medication—which, luckily, works really well to control hepatitis B. Once I clarified everything with the help of my mum (with drawings and hand gestures for good measure), Dad finally understood. And to his relief, it wasn’t nearly as scary as he (but mainly ‘I’) thought.
This all happened a few years ago. Before his diagnosis, Dad was your classic Asian uncle: heavy smoker, enjoyed his beers, and never said no to a third helping of pork belly. But hepatitis B was his health epiphany. Since then, he’s quit smoking and drastically cut back on drinking. Although… every now and then, I catch him trying to sneak a glass (or two) of red wine past Mum and me.
“Red wine is good for heart!” he protests.
“Yes, Dad,” I reply. “But your liver is not your heart.”
He grumbles. We confiscate the wine. Rinse and repeat at the next meal time!
Thankfully, unlike many others who face stigma and fear after a hepatitis B diagnosis, my dad’s experience was, oddly…uplifting? When he broke the news to his siblings, they burst out laughing. “Welcome to the club!” they said. Turns out, 5 of his 8 siblings also have hepatitis B. No judgment. No shame. Just laughter and group chats about appointment reminders and how they are now policed by their children/my cousins.
We’re not exactly sure where he picked it up—it could have been passed on from birth, during childhood, or through shared medical equipment back in his home country. But it’s clearly familial, and that’s common in many Asian communities where hepatitis B is endemic.
As his son and personal pharmacist, I was able to help him find reliable information, understand his condition, and navigate the health system confidently. Not everyone has that luxury, which is why awareness and education are so important, especially in communities where hepatitis B is common but taboo at the same time.
These days, Dad’s doing great. He gets his regular blood tests with his GP and sees his specialist every year, takes his medication every day, and even lectures me about looking after my liver. Go figure.
But, if there’s one thing we’ve both learned, it’s this: hepatitis B isn’t a life sentence, but ignoring it can be.
Get tested. Get treated. And maybe… go easy on the wine.
You can call our free Hepatitis Infoline to speak to someone about hepatitis B. Call 1800 803 990 today.
